We moved to Madison, WI from Seattle, WA the last week in August 2010.  After a few months of getting settled, I had a great idea.  “I should write a Blog about this life transition.”  In the past, I thought the idea of writing a Blog was a cool idea, but I have never thought I had an idea that would generate weekly or monthly posts.  With this transition, I thought, “Hey, I finally have an idea worthy of blogging about.”

The Reality:  It is now March 2012, only 17 months later, I am writing my second post.  (Don’t fall off your chair laughing too hard.)  Okay, so much for the idea to blog about transition.  Even though I wasn’t successful in my blog attempt, I have gained in personal understanding.  First, I realize that I don’t want to post, for public consumption, my process of wrestling with transition.  Going through the changes of a transition is hard enough.  Second, I am gaining confidence in seeing myself as a writer, so I would rather write about thought-out subject matter, somehow that feels safer to me.  Three, I still would love to write a successful blog.  (Definition:  posts on a monthly basis, practice writing for a public audience and provoke new thinking or ideas for the people who read it.)

Blog Attempt #2:  My Writing Life—I think most would agree that I did not meet my original intention to write a blog.  Based on this observation, I have many choices about what perception I want to form about myself and my writing.  We each have the power to choose our perceptions even though we like to conveniently forget this fact.   In this situation, here are my options as I see them:

Observation of Reality:  Wrote one Blog post in 17 months about moving to Madison, WI.

Options:

1. Perception: “I am a failure and I can’t write a Blog.”

Action:   Take no action and give up trying to write a Blog.

1. Perception: “I am a failure at writing a Blog, but I still want to write.”

Action:  Give up writing a Blog, but choose a different writing goal.

1. Belief:  “My attempt to write a Blog didn’t work this time, but I could try again.”

Action:  Determine what you learned and try writing Blog again.

I choose option #3.  I see this as a sign of growth.  In the past and on other occasions, I would have picked what I consider the easy way out, option #1.  Owning that I have choice about my perceptions, helps me choose the perception to be most successful at what I would love to do which is write and the Blog forum intrigues me.

To be clear, I am not saying that Option#3 is always the best choice.  For example, I wouldn’t say Option #3 would continue to be the best option if the reality is that I have attempted to start 4 Blogs and have been equally unsuccessful, and then option#2 would probably be better.  And upon further failed attempts to write a Blog, I would have to admit that Option#1 would make the most sense.  Again, I can choose the perception that allows me to be the most successful and bring the most meaning to my life?

What I realize in the process is that I like noticing how we all create meaning in our life based on our everyday activities.  Perception is a powerful concept that impacts our everyday behaviors and the quality of our life.  However, we often deny the power we have over our perceptions and fall victim to them instead.  As we see from the simple example above, perceptions are the conclusions we have drawn from our life and self observations.  Often we elaborate on these perceptions and turn them into stories about ourselves.  As a result of these perceptions, conclusions and stories, we then choose how we react, interaction, behave, and see ourselves.

A Blog Theme:  My Writing Life; how we all create meaning in our life in our everyday activities.

Let’s try this one out!

Side Note:  For anyone interested in the transition, moving from Seattle, WA to Madison, WI, I will (attempt to) write the next Blog about that.  Don’t want to leave anyone hanging.

I used the word NEVER, that was my first mistake.  I think the word NEVER is the Universe’s joke on all of us.  When we think that there is something that we could never imagine being a part of, especially if it is said with any amount of disdain, if you are lucky, you will find yourself having that exact experience realizing that you are not so different from the people who chose that thing you said you would NEVER do or be a part of.  This is a very practical way to realizing we are more similar than we are different and that we are all ONE.

For me, I said I would never move back to the Midwest for the following reasons; it was too close to family (MI), the cities in the Midwest, with the exception of Chicago, are just not cool, the surroundings of the Midwest just don’t compare to the exceptional beauty of the West and the people in the Midwest aren’t my people or so I thought. (Each reason is worthy of its own discussion…perhaps I will write more on these later).

So, the question you may be asking (I know I currently ask the question, once per day), is why did I choose to move to Midwest, if these were my beliefs?   This provokes questions about what the word CHOICE means to me.   I am realizing in this moment that my perception of the word choice provokes the idea of freedom to choose without consequences.   Of course, the dictionary states nothing of a consequence in regard to choice.  This is an interesting observation about me that I never realized.   I guess I was hoping to make a change and experience only positive and no negatives.  Of course, the physics of life wouldn’t allow that.  There is no good without bad or inside without outside or up without down.  Polar opposites exist in pairs.  So, choosing to see both sides allows me the opportunity to be more balanced, not just in thought, but in well-being.  I am off topic.

So, why did I choose to move to Madison?  Again, I realize I have a choice as to what truth I want to present and believe.

…My partner found the perfect job and I had no choice.

…Moving promised the opportunity to change and challenge

…Relationships in my life are one my highest values and so I moved to support my partner

…Relationships in life are my greatest voids, so I moved to keep solving the mystery of relationships

…I had an intuition that Madison would be better for us and I followed it

…I didn’t think it would be a big deal

All of these statements have truth, but my highest truth is that I chose to move to Madison, WI because this change promised the possibility to build a stronger family life.

In Seattle, the environment at the company where my partner was working and her tumultuous relationship with her boss were slowing eroding her confidence and her well-being.  Her extreme dissatisfaction with work and the traffic in Seattle were taking a serious toll on our relationship and our family life.  So, in the midst of an intense job search, my partner was able to find a boss who wanted her skills.  The job would be in a new industry for similar pay, working on a product that saves lives with people that would challenge her intellectually.  Finding this job in this economy was an incredible blessing and answer to many prayers or intentional thoughts put out into the universe.   How many people do you know are seeking to find meaningful work…getting paid to do what they Love?  Moving to Madison seemed like a very small obstacle.

So, we put the plan in motion and moved to Madison in less than a month.  There was very little time to question the choice.  There was only time to make decisions that got us to Madison, such as how to end our jobs, say goodbye to friends, and put our house on the market.  We also had decisions on how to get life started in Madison, such as where to live, what school to attend and how to get our stuff there.  So, without batting an eyelash, we executed a move across the country in less than 4 weeks so my 7-year-old son could start school on the first day.

Yes, I chose to move to Madison, WI to build a stronger family life.  I chose to take action to improve the area of my life that I value the most- my family.  And yes, there are no guarantees that this will happen.  So, I find myself in a place where I can choose to indulge in the fears of this change not working; not building a stronger family life or I can own my power to learn, adjust, create and re-create.

Writing this blog is a choice to help me do the latter; learn, adjust, create and re-create. My hope is that this blog will help me deal with the day to day reality that this change is overwhelming and promising.  I want to hold myself accountable to the beliefs that I am choosing and have an outlet for all that I am experiencing.  Come along on my journey…my outlet and first blog…I found myself in Madison.

At this point, perhaps some of you are thinking that I should change the name of my blog to “I chose to move to Madison.”  However, this is a purposeful title that reflects where I am today (How in the world did I end up in Madison?) and provides hope for where I want to end up (Wow, what an experience that allowed me to deepen the experience of myself).  Please come along with me on my journey.

One final thought…I have been thoughtful about what I have written and chosen to share.  If you choose to respond, please be thoughtful and loving in your responses.

“Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle.  I relinquish all regrets, grievances and resentments and choose the miracle.”    Course in Miracles